NYC Limbo

Hello from NYC! The kids and I are visiting friends and family here on our way home to Maine. I can’t believe I’m back in the USA. As for culture shock, Manhattan couldn’t be more different than Oxford. My son summed it up as we walked through Times Square, “Nothing’s older than 400 years.”













We stopped and stared up at the sky-scrapers. The sun was shining. Traffic was honking. Lights were flashing, and people were shouting. If I hadn’t grown up in NYC, it would have been an assault upon my senses. This is home, and yet it feels foreign.

Why are strangers saying “hi!” to me and smiling? When people bump into to me, they don’t apologize. Cars and buildings are super-sized. Food comes in portions too large to finish. I needed the ice cubes in the drinking water. The temperature is in the 90’s today.

Yesterday I met my old school friends for lunch at Cipriani Dolci in Grand Central Station. The food was good if not great. The train station setting was fun. The iced cappuccinos were perfect as was the company. I felt very welcomed home. The prices only made me smile when I converted the dollars into pounds.

Perhaps that was how I managed to overcome my sticker shock and buy a digital SLR camera. I have a backlog of paintings to add to my website, but my circa 1985 Nikon SLR isn’t working. I miss the manual control of an SLR. I like to pick my aperture and even prefer focusing myself. Scanning slides for my portfolio costs money too.

My son and I headed to the photography mecca. B&H Photo is near the Empire State Building. It’s enormous and quite the New York experience. Many of the salespeople are Hasidic Jews, and they all know from cameras. You can research and buy a camera on line, but at that price I wanted a test drive and expert advice.

I had originally planned to buy the Canon Rebel XSi as it gets top reviews, but the NikonD80 can take my old Nikon lenses (in manual,) and it’s more of a professional grade camera. You couldn’t go wrong with either camera, assuming you would really use the manual features of an SLR.

For most people, I’d recommend my point-and-shoot Canon Elph. It’s small, versatile and affordable. The image stabilizer allows for nice indoor shots without flash or a tripod. I’ve taken all my blog photos to date with it, and I’m sure I’ll continue to use it for every day blogging. I won’t have my new SLR camera until I get back to Maine Friday as I shipped it to avoid sales tax.

To reach B&H Photo, my son and I walked downtown through Central Park. It was our first day in NYC. There was a light breeze and low humidity with temperatures in the mid 80’s. Summer at long last!

Back in England, people still had the heat turned on, and the rain was relentless. Everyone said it was the worst summer ever. I reminded them of last summer with all the flooding, to which the reply was that was very unusual. Yeah, right. We did at least have a gorgeous last day in England. We took the dogs for a favorite walk “between the fields.”

The landscape was bucolic English, but the wheat against the bright blue sky made me think of the American Midwest and the novel I’m reading now.



Jane Smiley’s A Thousand Acres is set on a farm in Iowa. The story is Shakespeare’s King Lear. Many have called this Pulitzer Prize winner a “Great American Novel.” I loved Smiley’s Moo, which poked fun at academia.

A Thousand Acres is more serious and beautifully written. The characters are quintessentially American. They are ambitious, hard working and tied to their land and family. The farmers might be parochial, but they are far from simple.

I’m enjoying the novel so much, I bought another copy for my parents as a visiting gift (I’m staying with them in NYC .) I also bought them Ellis Avery’s The Teahouse Fire set in 19th century Japan which I reviewed in April.

On my mother’s recommendation, my son and I went to see the Louise Bourgeois exhibit at the Guggenheim Museum. Bourgeois’s installations worked so well in that space. I preferred her earlier work, especially the skinny sculptures. Giacometti worked in a similar way only he got the recognition that would never go to a woman. Understandably much of Bourgeois’s work challenged the notion that women were only housewives and sexual objects. She’s still working now in her 90’s. NYC has such amazing art.

It is wonderful to be back home, but I’m already missing England. Somehow we didn’t realize that we had grown roots until it was time to yank them out. My children had been counting the weeks but then felt sad to go, just when they’d finally been accepted into their new schools and made new friends.

Even our dog, Stella, was anxious about the move. She crawled into suitcases, terrified we’d leave her behind. Rest assured, we even remembered her lamby. Her crate had more legroom than we had on the plane.

Henry flew to Boston with Stella Tuesday and then drove to Maine. American Airlines only charges $90 to fly a dog to the USA, but you need to produce a vet certified well-pet certificate (NOT mentioned on the AA website.) It’s odd to think of them home without us.


Our last few days in Oxford were full of ups and downs. Literally, ups and downs. I let Stella out into the garden one night and left the door open while I ran my bath. Henry came home later that night to find the house hopping with baby frogs. He caught and released 20 of them. I wasn't much help because I was laughing too hard. Henry was very good natured about the whole debacle.

On our second to last night, we stayed with my in-laws in their wisteria covered home. The cousins raced around and had a brilliant time. We donned thick fleeces to have a barbecue outside until it rained. At least we got to see a double rainbow. Our parting was bitter sweet.

For our last night in England, we stayed with friends in Cambridge to be near Stansted Airport. My father called from NYC. He couldn’t find our flight number on line. When he called American Airlines, they told him that AA no longer flew out of Stansted. We had printed out our flight info the day before without problem. I called to reconfirm.

AA had cancelled our flight, and said they had called our home phone in the USA! Can you believe it? Our last flight change in May, they had e-mailed, so why not this time? We had to wake up before 4am to drive back to Heathrow. Still, it was worth it to say goodbye to our friends. Talk about a stressful departure.

I’ve needed the time in NYC to recover. Jet lag is much worse when you’ve lived abroad for a year, and the transition back to “normal” life isn’t easy. It’s a relief to be looked after by my parents in a familiar setting.

Plus I’ve had some comic relief. Here’s an oxymoron my son noticed on the West Side:

Only in NYC would you need to insult the customer to sell produce:

Actually the Turkish shop owners were very friendly and the fruit was excellent. Perhaps something was lost in translation.

This morning I relaxed, taking a walk along the East River. Do you recognize the bridges from my opening shot? Tomorrow we’ll cross back over the Triborough Bridge on our way to the airport.

Poor Henry is already back in Maine unpacking boxes and getting us connected to the internet so I can keep blogging. You may have noticed that I posted twice today. If not, check out Oxford Index for a trip down memory lane. Once I resume work on my novel NOT CRICKET, I’ll need to refer back to my Oxford sabbatical posts, and the archives are hard to navigate.

Another expat American blogger, Just A Plane Ride Away, came up with the best solution to my dilemma. She created a blog page to index her vacation to Germany and Austria. JAPRA, I hope you don’t mind that I borrowed your brilliant idea. Check out her blog and other expat bloggers on my sidebar. I guess I’m not an expat blogger anymore….

It’s only been 3 days since I left England, and already it feels like a dream. Henry just e-mailed to say our boxes arrived (in 6 days!) and the internet is reconnected. We’re meeting friends at the beach on Sunday. Home!

Oxford Sabbatical Index

To research my novel NOT CRICKET, I moved to England for a year (2007-8.) Click on the titles to view the posts.

Uprooting to England
The Holy Internet Grail
Wolvercote
Black Tie at Oriel College
Quince Tree
A Wall of Inequity
Public School Dayboy
Horses in the Mist
Shaping a Novel (S.A.D.)
Lord & Lady Krebs at Jesus College
Happy Hallowgiving
Philip Pullman on Writing Myth & Religion
The Wizard Earl
Fine Dining in Oxford
Unusual Holiday Lights
Novels About Schools
An English Christmas
Port Meadow Frost
Set on Magdalen College
Hampstead Fairies and Asian Restaurants
Port Meadow Flood
Americans in Oxford
Best Lunch and Tea in Oxford
February Frost
Bodleian Library Rules
What is Women's Fiction?
London Art and Gardens
Rousham: a secret garden
Oxford Literary Festival 2008
Best Pubs in Oxford
May Day in Oxford
Down Farm Devon
Port Meadow in Spring
Merton College Stories
Oxford Eights Week
Cornwall Vacation Reading
Shakespeare's Rose
Oxford High Table and Imps
Oxford Rituals
Expat Tips for Sabbatical in England
Oxford Highlights: favorite places and best restaurants

I didn't include our vacations to Scotland, France and Tanzania, but you can find them through the sidebar labels. My blog will continue in the USA with occasional flashbacks to England as I write NOT CRICKET. I'm posting twice today. See NYC Limbo.

Oxford Highlights: favorite places and best restaurants

Time is suspended on sabbatical. Exploration and discovery replace the normal routines of life. I find it difficult to mark time, to remember that this new life is not my own but borrowed like a library book. I am renewed.

Going on sabbatical is quite similar to creating a novel. I speak to strangers and walk down unknown lanes. The first days were intimidating. I felt lost, homesick and lonely. A year abroad seemed like a very long time, but there were benefits too.

A sabbatical, free of life’s commitments, offered time to focus without distraction. I’m usually very involved in my community. On a different time zone, e-mails didn’t ping until the end of my workday. The phone rarely rang. No one passed by to chat. I could start fresh in a new setting. England was a year-long writer’s retreat.

As I waited for my readers to comment on S.A.D., I set out to research NOT CRICKET and to gather material for my blog. The 2 book projects were perfect complements: one of introversion and revision and the other of extroversion and sensation.

After counting down the months to weeks and now to days, nostalgia has overtaken my longing to return home. Reading a good book, you race through the pages, wanting to find out what will happen, only to realize that there are so few pages left. Do you slow down to savor every word? Reread favorite passages that you skimmed?

I am in the final chapter of Oxford. Here are some earmarked pages, but to experience Oxford in its full complexity takes a sabbatical. It is a book in itself, the one I will write back in Maine.

In the past couple of weeks my family came to visit in 4(!) lots. We showed them round the most beautifully grand colleges, Christ Church (above) and Magdalen College. We also visited my husband Henry’s alma mater, Oriel College (the window shots above.) Another favorite was Merton College, which claims to be the oldest. Many colleges are open in the afternoon to visitors; some charge a fee.

My two favorite Oxford museums are The Museum of Natural History (above) and The Museum of the History of Science. The first one is especially good for kids and features the Dodo bird from Alice and Wonderland. The Divinity School and Bodleian Library are definitely worth visiting too. Great for rainy days.

When the sun shines, the Oxford waterways are a delight. These cygnets hatched at the end of May.

There are ducklings hatching now.


The City of Oxford is situated between 2 rivers: the Cherwell and the Isis. The River Thames is called the Isis only when it runs through Oxford. The Celtic name for river is tamasas which became Tamasis in Latin. Say it aloud, and you’ll hear both Thames and Isis. The city’s name is less grand: it was where oxen could ford the rivers. The ancient trading village predates the university, given its ideal setting on the rivers.

In later centuries a canal was also dug stretching 78 miles from Oxford to Coventry. The Oxford Canal is a pleasant hour walk from Jericho to Wolvercote. You pass many funky canal boats and back gardens of posh North Oxford homes. The Burgess Field Nature Park is most peaceful, and if you get thirsty, you can cross the first bridge in Wolvercote to The Plough for a pint. Dogs are welcome outside.

The best place for an off-lead (off-leash) dog walk is Port Meadow along the Isis, but you should hold onto your dog around the cattle and horses grazing free. Several ponies have dropped foals recently. Since the mares know me from my daily walks, they let me and my visitors approach. In my teenaged years I was a bit of a horse whisperer.

Whenever I’m feeling low, the foals cheer me up. They’re so friendly and funny.

My kids and I take advantage of the long days of summer to visit the herd after dinner. Our best buddy is a colt we call George (above and below) because he’s so curious. He likes to nibble on my son’s shoelaces. My daughter thinks the shy grey filly might be a unicorn.












The swans are NOT friendly, but they are beautiful to watch.

The best way to enjoy the water in Oxford is from a punt. You can rent them under the Magdalen Bridge or at the Cherwell Boathouse. We prefer the latter as it’s more rural, especially if you head upstream.


Henry gave our 13-year-old son a punting lesson. Within minutes, he got the hang of it. Of course he’d love punting as it involves sticking a giant pole into the mud and pushing off. The skill is using the pole to steer like a rudder and letting go if it gets stuck so as not to fall in! Our son proved to be a natural like his old dad. I’m now slightly less nervous about him learning to drive in 2 years time.

My parents were visiting from NYC and enjoyed their first punt. We had one of the best lunches I’ve had in Oxford at the Cherwell Boathouse. The food was gourmet and excellent value at only £12.50 for the 2 course set lunch menu on weekdays. The dockside setting couldn’t be better on a nice day.

When it’s not raining, England is pleasantly 60’s or low 70’s at this time of year. You appreciate the sun that much more when it shines, and it's never too hot. The gardens thrive in this climate. Ideal boating weather.

Despite my son’s facility, punting is not easy. We tried our best not to laugh watching these Spanish girls try to figure it out on their own. It was more like bumper cars as the punts bounced from bank to bank. By the time our food came, the plucky girls had set off down river and had returned just as we were tucking into pudding. Book ahead to get a table but just show up for punting.

On a rainy day, you’d be better off having a gourmet lunch at Jamie’s Italian. It just opened in Oxford center. Usually I’d advise avoiding Italian food in the UK at all costs, but this is one of the rare exceptions. Jamie Oliver is a young celebrity chef and cookbook author.

We enjoyed the ciabatta with its assortment of toppings even though they were served too cold and took forever to come. Henry’s lamb was excellent but the basil sauce was odd. My fresh-made pasta arrabiatta was excellent as were the homemade sorbets. The lunch menu was quite affordable. The only downside is they don’t accept reservations, and it was noisy.

Jamie’s serves the best gourmet lunch option available in the heart of Oxford Center. For more casual recommendations read my Best Lunch and Tea in Oxford post. I’ve also reviewed some other restaurants in Fine Dining in Oxford.

Since my parents were in town, we went to the two best gourmet restaurants in Oxford. The Old Parsonage and Gee’s are under the same ownership, but are quite different in feel. The best dinner I’ve had in Oxford was at The Old Parsonage, and it was so good that we are going back on Friday for our last meal here. The setting is charmingly Old World without being stuffy. The marinated tuna sashimi was sublime and the duck delicious. Everything we ordered was excellent as was the service. It a short walk up Banburry Road away from the City Center.

The food was not as good at Gee’s, but perhaps that is my taste as it is more traditionally English. The ingredients were fresh and local when possible. We had an excellent turkey dinner around Christmas that couldn’t have been better, but the two other times we dined there were not as good. Still, my family was happy with our meals, and we are picky eaters when it comes to quality dining, especially at that price. The only disappointing dish was the lobster risotto – remember the avoid Italian food in England rule? We'll have the best lobster back home in Maine anyway.

The Victorian glass conservatory setting at Gee’s is just lovely and quite unique. It’s worth going for the atmosphere and top quality service for a special date. The ambiance, however, was ruined by the live jazz music on Sunday nights. It was so loud that we couldn’t talk.

And there was so much to say about how much I’ve loved this sabbatical in Oxford. It's going to be very hard to leave in 4 days. Still I’m eager to head home to be closer to family and friends. Tomorrow I’m meeting a friend from home, Scott Sehon, for a pint and dinner. These visitors help ease the transition. It was hard to say goodbye to my English friends, though.

I’m an emotional yoyo about leaving. All the work of packing is ahead of me in these next few days. Even the weather is reflecting my mood. Yesterday I got soaked in a downpour, and then it hailed so hard I couldn’t see out the window. A rainbow appeared for only minutes. A gazillion frog babies are hopping down the sidewalk and through our garden to Port Meadow. That’s an English pound coin and an American penny by the frog for cross-cultural size reference. I’m not sticking around for the plague of locusts.

We’re not going directly home but spending a night with Henry’s family and then with friends in Cambridge, UK. Henry is flying with our dog to Boston and then driving to Maine. The kids and I are flying via NYC to catch up with family and friends. Next week I plan to blog from Manhattan on Thursday. Any tips, world travelers, on adjusting back to life in the USA? How's Maine?

Yes, the blog will continue on my usual Wednesdays in Maine. It’s a special place too if very different. As much as I enjoyed Oxford, I love my home most of all. Stay tuned to find out why.

Expat Tips for Sabbatical in England

Here are the 10 things I wish I’d known before my family's sabbatical at Oxford. This is actually the fifth time I’ve lived in the UK, as my husband is English. Henry teaches at Bowdoin College in Maine USA. He had 2 Oxford University fellowships: The Nissan Institute and The Reuters Institute. He is writing a book on public television in the UK, USA and Japan.

I used the sabbatical to research a novel, NOT CRICKET, set at Oxford University. It all started with Uprooting to England. Click on the "Oxford Sabbatical" label at the end of the post to view the whole year. I’ll post once more from Oxford next week, and then I will continue blogging in Maine.

Tower Bridge, London from 2004

1. How long should we go? Last time my family moved to England it was for 6 months in London, and this time we came for 11 months in Oxford. I’d definitely recommend coming for the whole year if you can. It will be easier to rent out your house back home and to find accommodation abroad. It will be less disruptive to your children’s education. Most importantly, you will make more friends. People will make more effort getting to know you and you’ll make more effort too if you’re there longer.

On the 6 month stay, I felt as soon as we were settled, it was time to go back home. The move itself is very disruptive. It’s worse than a permanent move because you will have to maintain 2 households. During the year, you may have tenant or property issues to deal with back home complicated by time zones. The disruption was the biggest downside of a sabbatical. Read more about timing in the school section below.

Swans on Wolvercote Common: I counted over 40 on my last walk in adjacent Port Meadow. I'll be posting cygnet photos next week.

2. How do we find a place to live? The best site is sabbaticalhomes.com. It’s set up for the academic community for home exchanges and short-term rentals. It might even help you find a tenant for your house back home. Of course I heard about it after I was living in Oxford.

We found our perfect Wolvercote house through the Oxford University Gazette in March. Most listings go up in June/July. If you are connected with a university or living near one, check their paper for listings. It’s usually nicer living in someone’s home than in a professionally set up rental, and the price might be lower too.

Jericho townhouses are convenient to the Oxford City Center.

3. Where’s the best place to live in Oxford? If you have a family, I’d recommend Summertown as there are good shops in walking distance; the city center is in easy biking distance, and it’s well served by the bus lines. Your elementary school child is most likely to be placed at Cutteslowe which is close by. There’s a community sports center with an okay lap pool. There’s also a private but expensive sports club, Esporta.

On street parking is tight, but you won’t need a car in Summertown. Buy a "second hand" bike. Summertown Cycles has some, but it’s hard to find used ones for kids. Oxford is a biking town with bike lanes going into the center. However, there are no bus routes or bike lanes going across Oxford, so pay careful attention to your location. The downside would be no great pubs in Summertown, and it’s not especially scenic.

Another option is Jericho which is more charming and right by the city center. There are restaurants and some shops. It’s by the Oxford Canal, nice for a walk. It would be a good choice for a couple without kids or dog.

We chose to live in Wolvercote, a small village in the northern edge of Oxford. Wolvercote is the place to live if you have a dog, and it’s a green community with lots of families. We had on-street parking for our (used) car, and the #6 bus goes every 15 minutes to the center and only takes 15 minutes. I loved our location.

The downside about Wolvercote was that 3 miles was kind of far to bike into the center, and the local Wolvercote School was full. We were stuck walking our 10-year-old daughter 3 miles round trip to get her to school. My husband took the morning shift, and I the afternoon, but on some days I had to do both and walk 6 miles. I got very fit! It’s the European way to get exercise just getting places as opposed to driving in a car to work out.

One more cost to include in your calculations is you'll have to pay the council tax (ie poll tax) even if you aren't a Brit. We paid £1,400 for the year! Good news is you're also entitled, as a resident, to the National Health Service. Register when you arrive. We were happy with the Jericho Health Center. You don't have to go to the closest practice. Be sure to choose one that is open full hours.

Abingdon School Chapel: the boys attend weekly Anglican services. Both state and public schools study multi-religions as a required subject.

4. Where should the kids go to school? This may be your biggest headache. English state schools (ie public schools in American) will not automatically accept your kids, and most have crowding issues. Class sizes are large – up to 30 in a class and often one more. Oxford requires a signed tenant agreement (lease.) They have to provide children a spot only if you are resident for six months.

Due to school choice, you are not guaranteed a spot in a local school, and your kids won’t necessarily end up at the same schools. There are no school buses so you are responsible for your kid’s transportation unless it is over 3 miles one way (Oxford.) The school system is riddled with inequity.

In London we weren’t even allowed to apply until we were physically resident. Since we were moving in the middle of the year and wanted them at the same elementary school, we sent our kids (then 6 and 9) to a prep school instead. A prep school is a private primary school, usually up to age 11 or 13.

Many Americans in London send their kids to The American School. When we lived in London, we sent our kids to The Abercorn School which was mostly English but had a lot of international students with many Americans. It had an English curriculum and high academic standards. I’ve heard good things about The American School, and it certainly makes for an easier transition on both sides. Still, we were happy to send our kids to an English school for the full experience. Abercorn also cost less than The American School.

It’s confusing: many private secondary schools are called "public schools" in the UK. Some public schools provide scholarships but many require an entrance exam the spring before you go. When we were told that Cherwell, the state school in Oxford, was too full to accept our thirteen-year-old son, we sent him to The Abingdon School. You can read more about it in Public School Dayboy. It's his last day of school today. Our daughter's state school runs until July 23rd! There are more vacations over the school year.

Another factor you should consider is the age of your children. The demands on young children are much higher in the UK. A six-year-old is expected to be reading chapter books and memorizing times tables. Americans do catch up in the later elementary school years. Academically the differences increase as English schools get very specialized and tracked in the final years. It would be much easier for your high school student to attend The American School or an international school than to study for English A-levels that are in only a few chosen subjects.


My husband in his Oriel College boating club blazer.

5. What should we ship vs. buy? Everything is cheaper in the US, so it’s worth anticipating your needs and shipping stuff over. This year things cost the same number of dollars as pounds so life was twice as expensive. Plus my husband's grants were in dollars.

If you want to price compare items between the US and UK, check Argos on line. There’s a branch in Oxford center and others all over England. It’s a discount chain where you order from an in-store catalogue or on line. There are other "superstores" outside Oxford, but you won’t find the bargains or selection that you’re used to in the US. Boswells in Oxford Center will provide most of your household needs. You can find and get rid of stuff for free through freecycle.

The climate, no matter what time of year, is pretty consistent. Pack for 50’s and light rain. It can get up to the 70’s (rarely 80’s) in the summer, and it might occasionally snow or frost in winter. You’ll need wellies (rubber boots) for country walks, but you can find them here for not too much. I’d recommend bringing a good, light weight raincoat or you can buy a “pack a mac” here.

At Oxford there are many black tie or jacket and tie events. A dark suit is fine for all events for men (no real need for the tux.) You will get invited to more things at the beginning and end of the academic year than in the middle. Sensible dress shoes for women are a must as you will be walking on cobblestones and up slippery stone steps, possibly even on rooftops!

Shipping home is a headache. The Royal Mail no longer ships by boat and is expensive by air. The cheapest convenient option was Mail Boxes Etc, which has a branch in Summertown and many all over the USA. It’s about £3 per kg with a 17% fuel surcharge. Shipping from the US is much cheaper.

The airing cupboard can be in the bathroom, hall or kitchen. Our drying space is unusually small since the tank is extra big.

6. What’s different in the household? Your flat (as apartments are called in England) will probably have no dryer or an all in one unit that will not do much more than steam your clothes. You might have a clothesline, but it rains more days than not. Most people hang clothes on radiators or off furniture. Damp clothes are put in the airing cupboard. This is a cupboard around your hot water heater with wooden slats designed for drying clothes.

Another option, if you have space, is to buy a condenser dryer for about £200. Every 3 loads or so you empty out the water collected in the tank. It takes longer than a vented dryer, but it does the job.

I like Ariel Biological detergent. Buy Calgon limescale protection tablets to soften up the water. Then you can use half the recommended detergent. The washing machines tend to work well at spinning off excess water so clothes dry faster but also wear out faster.

Due to hard water, you have to add a special salt to your dishwasher occasionally. You’ll see limescale in the machine and on your glasses if you don’t. Be sure to get a toilet cleaner that’s tough on limescale. Andrex toilet paper is softest.

Your fridge and freezer will probably be small by American standards. You can order groceries on the internet and have them delivered for free (if you spend over £50) from Sainsbury's.

None of your recipes will work in the UK without conversion. All English products are in grams of weight whereas American recipes are by oz volume. You won’t find American shortening for baking. Use caster sugar for baking and a little less butter than you would usually since the butter is creamier. Baking soda is called bicarbonate of soda and most Brits don’t use it.

Your heat and hot water will probably be on a timer. You can reprogram it, but you probably won’t need heat at night as it rarely gets below freezing. Expect a small hot water tank and not much water pressure unless you are lucky (we were.) Most English people prefer baths and have nice deep and long ones. English homes tend to be cool and damp so bring layers to wear inside.

My English home office where I started writing NOT CRICKET.

7. How do I set up a home office and stay connected to the US? The good news is there are Staples in England, including one in Oxford center, but the bad news is that everything costs twice as much. Worst of all, standard computer paper is a slightly different size – a bit longer and narrower. Shipping a large document, like a novel manuscript, is expensive. I needed to send manuscripts to readers and my agent in the USA. There were postal strikes going on last fall.

The best solution was to e-mail my manuscript as a US formatted PDF to FedEx Kinko’s and have them print it. I found a branch a few blocks away from my agent, and the courier service ($15) was cheaper than a fed ex. My agent’s assistant picked up my manuscripts the first couple of times [thanks, Marika!]

We chose BT for a cable wireless hub, but it is slower than what we had back home and has to be reset weekly to discharge static electricity. It comes with a broadband phone which allows us to make inexpensive calls at any time to the USA. The reception is not as good as our land line. A cheaper option is Skype, but the reception is poor and requires a camera in both computers to get the full service.

It took BT several weeks to get us connected to the internet, and my husband spent many hours (not exaggerating) on phone queues (on hold) and was often disconnected. The UK is not a service economy. Call lines are understaffed and often out-sourced. This drove us completely crazy and ruined the first couple of weeks. Does anyone know a better option than BT? If so, please comment.

Free WiFi is hard to find. There are a few places where you can pay 70p for a half an hour to use ancient computers. Read my first Oxford post.

Mobile phones are inexpensive and plentiful. Best to get a pay as you go with a cheap US calls plan. We did ours through carphone warehouse. You can buy a separate card to use in the rest of Europe.

Blogging is a great way to stay in touch with family and friends and to create a record of your adventure. If you want privacy, you can have your blog password protected and unlisted. You can set up a free google blog in minutes.

The downside of blogging was that it will distract you from work (that’s why I only post weekly) and your friends and family probably won’t post comments on your blog. They get your news without you getting theirs so you’ll feel disconnected. It’s still the best way to update people without repeating yourself endlessly.

My writers' group: standing L and R Miranda Glover and Rachel Nkere-Uwem Jackson; seated L to R Jennie Walmsley, Sarah Laurence (me), Anne Tuite-Dalton and Lucy Cavendish. Alexa Wilson is in the group too. I'm missing you guys already! Photo by Miranda's husband.

8. How do I meet people? It can be challenging to make friends in England. The country is smaller so people are used to keeping their old friends and won’t empathize as readily with your situation. The English are more reserved than Americans so don’t take a cool first reaction personally.

Look for groups of people who share your interests. Your local community center or library may have classes or book groups. The church would have a choir. Choosing a local state school is a good way to meet other parents. I joined a writers' group after meeting another author at a party.

Join the Oxford Newcomers’ Club. It’s mostly women but open to any spouse or partner of someone who is working/studying/on sabbatical at Oxford. Oxford is not an open university and access is very limited. Through Newcomers you will go on special tours. Some are free and others cost a few pounds. They even have a book group. If you aren’t at Oxford, check to see if the university has a similar program. Cambridge University does.

Our golden retriever loved Port Meadow, so did we. Wellies required!

9. Should I bring my dog/cat/ferret? England recently introduced the pet travel scheme so you don’t have to put your pet in 6 months quarantine. You have to start the paperwork and tests six months before you depart. It’s really complicated and expensive. You also have to get a final check within 2 days of departing the US.

BA is the only airline that you can ship your pet to England, but you don’t need to accompany your pet. You have to buy a huge crate to fit their requirements. The crate for my golden retriever was big enough for a Shetland pony, and her airfare was over a thousand dollars! To return, she can go on American for much less, but we have to buy a smaller crate as the minimum size crate for BA was larger than the maximum size for American Airlines.

We chose to live in Wolvercote because Port Meadow is the best place to walk and swim your dog off lead (leash.) Here’s a virtual dog walk post. Hill’s Science Diet Pet Food is readily available in both countries so switch your pet over before you leave. We were very happy with our Parkwood Veterinary Group.

Despite the hassle and the cost, I’m glad we brought our dog. Home is not home without her. I’ve also met people through my dog. England is very dog friendly. It’s easier to find a rental open to pets here than in the US. Dogs are welcome on Oxford buses. There are even special dog gates on country walks. Having a dog in London, however, would be difficult.

Hot air balloon over Lincoln College, Oxford. Bon voyage!

10. Was it worth it? Yes! We had a wonderful time, and I collected fabulous material for my novel, NOT CRICKET. Living abroad is much more satisfying and personal than traveling as a tourist or for work. If you have a family, this will be a broadening and educational experience your children will never forget. Even the hardships will pull you closer together. A sabbatical is the ultimate bonding experience. Plus it was fun!

More Oxford Info:
Oxfordshire County Council for state schools
NHS for medical services
Best Lunch and Tea in Oxford
Best Pubs in Oxford
Fine Dining in Oxford
Americans in Oxford
The Oxford Guide

Did I leave anything out? Please "comment" below. Click on the "Oxford Sabbatical" label to view the whole year.

Oxford Rituals

Come exam weeks , you’ll see students in academic gowns treading cobblestones past ivory towers. It doesn’t feel like Oxford has changed in centuries until you look closer.

Undergraduates read (ie study) only one subject, with the exception of some new hybrids like PPE (politics, philosophy and economics.) There are qualifying exams at the end of the first year and weekly tutorial papers. However, the only thing that counts towards the final degree are the exams sat at the end of 3 years in 10 subfields.

If that weren’t enough pressure, the students are required to wear 19th century kit known as subfusc for exams. Young men must wear: a white bow tie, shirt, black suit and black shoes under an academic gown. Young women substitute a black tie and can wear either a black skirt or trousers. Don’t say “pants”- that’s underpants in British! On hot days they can at least sit the exam in their shirt sleeves.

A more recent custom is to don a carnation on the lapel. On the first day of exams, which can last 10 days, the flower is virginal white. During the middle days it is pink. On the final day the carnation is red, as if it had been soaking in a red inkwell, slowly reaching saturation, not unlike the student.

Not everyone is on the same examination schedule, so lunchtime in hall is an amusing clash of period dress. At Oriel there were lads in their sports kit elbow to elbow with suited chums. Gowns were hung on pegs to keep tidy. The lunch food was institutional. I had mystery meat on a skewer. Fish? Chicken? Pork? Quite unlike a high table feast. No one seemed to mind as they ate heartily after morning exertions.

Most exams are sat at Examination Schools in silent, cavernous rooms. I could feel the tension in the air when I peeked my head in on my way to a history lecture. It’s a grand 19th century sandstone building with an enormous two story foyer. The halls sport black and white checkered floors and colorful walls leading to stone steps. The whimsical feeling is misleading.

These third year exams count for everything and are administered by the university, not the separate colleges. Very few students graduate with a First Degree. Most get a Second, and the worst get a Third or fail. There are nicknames. A Lower Second (2-2) is called a “Bishop Desmond.” A Third is called a "Richard."

The joking spins out of control after the final exam. A student’s mates greets him/her with balloons, silly hats and necklaces as they exit. They are covered in treacle so that tossed flour will stick to their gowns. A plate of pastry cream or shaving cream is shoved in the face. Traditionally the student was sprayed with champagne, but the police have been cracking down on that. I still spotted students chugging champagne bottles on side streets.

This elaborate Oxford ritual is called “trashing.” Plenty of drinking and celebration follows at the pub or in the dorm rooms.

Out punting on a Saturday, I spotted a trashed student in his filthy gowns by the river. At the urging from his bank-side mates and more students in a punt, the lad dove in and swam out for a glass of wine. He was offered the entire bottle but declined in a posh accent, “Christ Church ball tonight.”

Every other year the colleges hold a Commemoration Ball, a white tie affair that starts in the evening for dinner and lasts all night. At dawn there is a violin serenade with champagne and a greasy full English breakfast in hall.

I went to a similar ball at Cambridge University back when my sister-in-law was there. We ladies wore floor length ball gowns and danced all night under the stars. Well, we didn’t actually see the stars, but they must have been there twinkling over the dense fog.

The final ritual is Oxford’s graduation ceremony held in the Sheldonian Theatre, designed by Christopher Wren. It’s too small to fit everyone, so the students graduate on separate days. I attended the honorary degree ceremony, called Encaenia, meaning "festival of renewal" in Greek. A bit of a misnomer as most of the ceremony was conducted in Latin!


The ceremony opened with a trumpet fanfare, and then black robed officials with white hair and long silver staffs escourted the honorands inside. The University Chancellor sat upon that golden throne conferring degrees.

The ancient language could not keep up with modern times. The introductory speech for Sheila Evans Widnall, former US Secretary of the Air Force, waxed poetic about Icarus and such.

The only honorand I recognized was Thomas Nagel, a philosopher of mind who once asked “What is it like to be a bat?” Thanks to a translation sheet, I now know how to say bat in Latin: vespertilio.

Another Encaenia ritual was to thank (in English) the donors – that was dull! The speaker livened up his speech with jibes against rival Cambridge University, the “daughter school.” Then all the dons in their academic gown processed outside into the rain.

I enjoyed seeing the Encaenia spectacle but was sorry to miss fellow Oxford blogger John Kelly give a new media presentation at Reuters. Since I couldn’t be two places at once, my husband, Henry, will take over the blog from here. Our daughter snapped this photo of the Kelly family before they flew home to Washington D.C.

One of the real delights of this year has been getting to know the Kelly family. John is a columnist at The Washington Post who spent the past year as a Fellow of The Reuter’s Institute for the Study of Journalism researching the red-hot topic of citizen journalism. He presented his findings last week.

Citizen journalism hit the front-pages (oh, the post-modern irony of that phrase!) in the aftermath of 9/11, the Tsunami, and the 7/7 bombings. Nifty new technologies like mobile phone cameras and wireless broadband mean that just about anyone can be a reporter, by-passing “old media” journalists who are, John reports, less trusted than even estate agents. User-generated content (UGC), wikipedia, youtube and blogs have created powerful new networks which have turned upside-down the old relationship between reporter and audience.

That’s good news if you think the old media are a complacent elite delivering patronising lectures - isn’t it better to choose what you want at the buffet than have some snooty waiter decide for you? A citizen journalist broke the story of Obama’s “bitter” comment, and bloggers spread the word, leaving the old gatekeepers flat-footed.

On the other hand, many fret about the erosion of the old journalistic values of professionalism, objectivity, and fact-checking. Instead of a vibrant cyber-democracy, these folk see a cacophony of ill-informed opinion - a view hilariously captured in this Mitchell and Webb spoof of the the BBC’s "Have Your Say" fixation.



John steered a helpful middle course between these extremes, holding onto the hope that we can figure out a way to get the best of both worlds. He noted that the same technology that allows every Tom, Dick or Harriet to post something bogus also allows anyone to correct it in real time. “Check, then publish” is a good old-media rule, but “publish, then check” has its merits in a networked world.

In any case, the evidence is that most citizens don’t actually want to be journalists - less than 1% of the BBC’s on-line traffic is UGC-related. We’ll always need objective, contextualized reporting and informed analysis. Journalists who can deliver this AND who are savvy to the latest media will be in high demand. Journalists, in short, like John.

We miss you and your family already, John. Keep blogging back in the USA!